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Painful Transition

Posted by Stephanie Jackson on

If you follow me on social media, you're probably aware that in late March of this year, my husband and I lost our 25 year old son, Trey. He had been in contact with us daily for 5 days straight, as he had put himself on the waiting list for a drug detox in Miami, FL where he had been working. We had just found 2 places that would take our insurance when we last talked to him; he had taken the necessary steps to get into treatment the next day. When we quit hearing from him and couldn't get a hold of him anymore, we got very concerned. Glenn (my husband/Trey's dad) filed a missing person report with the Miami police, and shortly thereafter, we received word that his body had been found in his car. Estimated time of death was late night/early morning right after we talked to him last. The primary cause of death was acute bronchopneumonia, of which we were not aware (and Trey probably wasn't, either). Secondary was listed as "complications due to drug toxicity".

Needless to say, this has been a very difficult journey for our family. The only reason Glenn & I are still alive and well is our faith in Jesus Christ, and what I have been referring to as "spiritual anesthesia". Some days I literally feel like I'm being carried. And we know that Trey had also committed his life to Christ, so we are confident that we will see him again in another realm...that will go on forever. The hard part is the here & now. I have a lot of living I want to do, and I'm not sure how that's going to happen without my son. But I am taking it one day at a time.

Trey was an amazing musician, and played a huge role in my music. He was always challenging me to arrange more and write more, and he never failed to make me listen to music he had discovered in his journey as a stagehand. He was a highly skilled drummer a really good guitarist. He loved to play Coldplay songs on my piano. We would snapchat and text music ideas, and even odd music facts (such as, "Did you know that Pink Floyd's 'Money' is in 7/4 time?"). That being said, I know he would want me to stay focused on my music, and actively write & record.  So while I have days of constant crying and feeling like I'm in the Twilight Zone, I have other days that I get in the "music zone", and am slowly but surely getting back to creating some new sounds. Playing music is so very therapeutic to me.

I really appreciate the kind words I have received from so many on Facebook and at my live events. And hopefully you'll be hearing a lot more from me in the near future!